She Was Wild

She Was Wild

Tamed against her will

She was the innocent little girl trapped inside

She needed love, she needed to be heard

She was too loud, too fast, too angry, too much

But she needed love and to be understood

But she was too loud too fast, too angry, too much

So she learned a special and useful skill

How to wear a big thick mask, a mask that mirrored the impossible expectations she thought she was supposed to live up to

She pretended to have nothing to say

and said instead…

I'll be good

I’ll be quiet

I’ll be calm

She was tamed to the point, she would no longer try to show or understand the fire inside

She kept the mass amounts of energy and emotions that lived on the inside, quiet, and dormant

She told herself the way to get love was to be who they wanted, when they wanted and how they wanted

So she put her mind to it and she did

She was good

She was quiet

She was calm

As often as she could muster, that is, until she could do it no longer

And again

She became too loud, too fast, too angry, too much

But all along on the inside

She was raging

Raging with passion, with energy, with love, with intellect, and creativity

She was a fierce lion cub capable of anything

But only on the inside

Because on the outside

She was too loud, too fast, too angry, too much

So she told herself…

I’ll be good

I’ll be quiet

I’ll be calm

And so she was….